Let's face it, anger is one of the hardest emotions to keep a leash on. It requires an almost constant watch for the yetzer hara (evil inclination) within in us all to control harsh words toward our fellow man and a concentration to allow only the yetzer tov (good inclination) to show and motivate our actions.
One of the important lessons in Judaism is Derehk Emunah U-Maaseh Rav: The angry man fills his mouth with live coals and with needles,sharp and hard.For each angry word he utters,he deserves to be banished from holiness in shame and disgrace,and to suffer grievously until his soul is purified from its blemishes. Every man must be the master of his mouth.
This is shown quite clear in the Covenant of Fellowship entered in by the disciples of Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Rimanov:
Bab Metzia 58 Resolved from words of scolding and denunciation,which our Holy Rabbi has barred as transgressing the law against murder.
There are commentaries that say words can be worse than murder. How can words be compared to committing murder? Because unlike physically taking a life,which is is once, words spoken can continue to destroy a person over and over by being carried by others as lashon hara (evil speech) like gossip. The tongue is said to be a two edged weapon since it can used for good to build up and consol or to tear down and denigrate.
Siach Sarfei Kodesh:The verse in Psalms 81:8:I answered thee in the secret place of thunder;I proved thee at the waters of Meribah teaches us that the L-rd will answer the prayer of the man who keeps his anger secret,though highly provoked by the other man's quarrelsomeness. (Note:Meribeh=Quarrelsomeness)
Dubnow,H.ofCh:The good man should himself be the Torah,and people should be able to learn good conduct from observing him
As I pointed out in a previous post, sins against your fellow man are only able to be atoned by seeking their forgiveness, what about those that slight you and don't seek you? The answer to this is found in Tractate Megillah"Those who forgive people who sin against them -- their sins will be forgiven."
There is a story about a great Rabbi that told a disciple to go buy him the finest cut at the market and the disciple returned with a tongue.
"Why a tongue the finest cut?" asked the Rabbi
The disciple replied, " Because the tongue can praise Hashem, uplift the soul of those who are pained, comfort those in sorrow and bring peace between people."
The following week the Rabbi asked his disciple to go buy him the worst cut at the market and the disciple returned with a tongue.
"Last week you brought me a tongue as the finest cut.How is it now the worst?" asked the Rabbi
The disciple replied," Because the tongue can be used to create a hillul Hashem (desecration of The Name), drag down the soul of the pained, cause sorrow and bring discord between people."
Comments (2)
You told me to look at this post.
First off, I'm not in any way religious, so I think all of this means a lot less to me than you might have expected or wanted it to. Second off, anger in speech does not necessarily equal lies. And anger is not necessarily unwarranted or always uncalled for. In fact, I think in my particular instance of anger, it is completely called for that I inform (certain) people of what has happened, because then they will be warned about a certain person's repeated actions.
@SerenaDante - Obviously you are correct that warning people of doing wrong actions is not only warrented, but a commandment as well. It's how we get the point acros though.
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